photo by Jacob Bøtter
“Reflective thinking turns experience into insight.”
— John Maxwell
A key piece of personal growth is consistently taking the time to reflect on your experiences and interactions with people. Reflection time is the best opportunity to put everything into perspective, assess where you are at in life, and to consider how events have impacted you. Additionally, it allows you to think about how you have impacted others including family, friends, and co-workers. I suggest that a lack of discipline to review the events of the day is a leading cause of stress, conflict, and eventual burnout.
The only “rule” when reflecting is to be honest with yourself. If you don’t acknowledge where you could have done better, then the exercise won’t provide anything to grow from. You have to be willing to look at yourself in a different light and use the time as an opportunity to celebrate your triumphs and commit to avoiding mistakes in the future.
Taking the time to reflect doesn’t have to be a formal process. Most of the time I find a quiet place, free of distractions, where I can be alone in my thoughts for 15 minutes, sometimes longer depending on the day’s events. I’ll take a few notes, add some thoughts to my favorite note-taking software, or make some actions to followup on (I am a GTD’er.) However, you can use your commute time, lunch time, or any other time throughout the day where you can focus for a few minutes on recent events in your life.
I use these 7 questions as a simple framework to help me think about how I can grow each day.
What did I learn today that will help me grow? Use every day as a learning opportunity. I think about something positive which made me feel good. The case with me often times is I think about where I could have done better. Pick a couple of experiences you had and ask yourself what you learned. Anything you need to followup on?
What was one critical decision I made today and was it the right one? Pick one decision you made today and ask yourself if you made the right decision. Given the opportunity, would you make the same decision again, in the future?
Did I stick to my diet/exercise plan, and if not why? In this busy world, diet and exercise are amongst the first items to be scratched off the list of things to do or focus on. If this is the case, ask yourself, why and what you could have done to avoid neglecting them in the future? (note: you can substitute any habit you are trying to change here.)
Was there something new I came across which I need to look into further? Take a second and think about something new you may have read, heard, or seen. Ideally, find something that may be outside your comfort zone, but you want to know more about. What do you need to do to look into it further?
Did I make an impact, positively or negatively, on someone? Think about an interaction with someone which you had today. Ask yourself whether or not you left a positive impression. If not, what could you have done differently and what action to you need to take in order to make amends? If the interaction was positive, what do you need in order to sustain it?
What successes did I have which I can learn from? We are all taught to learn from our mistakes so we don’t repeat them. However, I contend we don’t spend enough time learning from what we do well. Instead of focusing just on failures, think about an accomplishment. How did it make you feel? Is there something you learned which could be applied towards a future success?
Did I spend enough time with the people important to me? In our rushed world, it’s easy to miss spending time with those who provide us our greatest joys. Whether it’s your spouse, family, friends, or co-workers, you should take a minute to ensure you gave them the appropriate attention they deserve. If not, how can you make the time?
Do you spend time each day thinking about what you can learned? If so, share your approach to how you use each day as a learning opportunity.
